We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
