I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
