how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
