Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When are your genitals available?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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