so that wasnt chicken after all
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
