I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
