So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
