i think i have herpe
just one?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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