I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
