You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
