You smell like stripper and shame
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize