Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
