at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
