You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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