In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
