i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize