At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
