Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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