So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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