at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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