I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
