My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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