just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
