who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just found puke in my bra..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
