The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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