I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
