Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
