these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
