its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize