Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
