As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
