I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
