Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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