If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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