Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
