i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
