I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize