There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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