I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I pour the whiskey from now on
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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