You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
