Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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