Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize