I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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