I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
