shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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