I look better un-naked...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
