I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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