brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
