well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
