If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
