So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
