Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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