I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
