Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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