I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize