My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
sarcasm needs its own font
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
