I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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