We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
