you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
