Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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