wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
