hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
