It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
