Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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