Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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