these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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