Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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