yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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