i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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