If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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