I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
