i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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