she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
