even my farts smell like vagina
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize