i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
