We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
