She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
